I came to an abrupt stop at the intersection of 12th and main as the ambulance whizzed right in front of me. Naturally I thought it was just another ordinary day where someone got into an unfortunate car accident, and I just got caught in the cross fire of red and blue flashing lights. The light turned green and I continued in route to work. I found my way to my usual parking spot and put the car into gear. As I got out of my car a second ambulance passed by the parking structure. I guess I was just letting it get to me. Not only were the echoing sounds of the siren bouncing violently off the walls of the parking structure, but I couldn’t help but think of all the lives her fiancé was saving today. Great, I thought to myself. I’m really starting today off with a positive attitude.
I brushed the light snow off my blazer and walked through the double glass doors towards the elevator to the 13th floor. I swiped my security card as I passed the attendants desk, and they were staring right at me as if they knew something terrible was going to happen to me. Just before I pressed the button to elevator, yet another ambulance passed by the building. I haven’t quite seen that many ambulances before in a span of ten minutes. It would be a terrible thing to say they were in some kind of race, but the fact is, that would actually be a true statement; a race to beat death. As the doors opened to the abyss of the 13th floor, the secretary motioned me to her desk. She handed me a few slips of yellow message paper before I proceeded to my office space. Message slips were not uncommon but today I had three of them. This was a miracle. Normally I have one…and its from my boss telling me to come immediately to the morning meeting; as if I had no idea what I was supposed to do after 3 months of working here. I sat down at my desk and started to read my messages. Just before I could start my phone vibrated. It was a text message. I opened my phone and stared at the message again. You know some people are not very bright when it comes to sending the same message twice. Most messages I receive more than once have that helpful disclaimer at the top that says *duplicate*. Just throwing that out there. It was the same message from the night before. Again my heart jumped as though it was being revived, but I couldn’t figure out why. Like I said before it was just a simple message. Now that I think about the message doesn’t even make much sense. I set the phone down trying not to blame the dumb phone companies for delivering messages multiple times.
I continued to read my messages from the secretary. The first was of course my boss informing me of the morning meeting that takes place in about fifteen minutes. The other two were rather strange. One of them was from my mom. She simply left me a message saying: “Sorry I missed you while you were out of the office, I was in the area and wanted to stop by. Hope all is well. ~Love, Mom.” It was only strange because she didn’t call my phone. Oh well. The second message I couldn’t comprehend. The pencil markings were fading and I didn’t have a Rosetta stone handy. I made out as much of it as I could, but all I got was: See you soon. I set down the messages and made my way to the conference room for the meeting. Again I sat there watching snowflakes fall outside the window as the busy streets below were busting with cars. As the meeting concluded, a patrolman stuck his head in the door and requested to speak to me. I made my way out into the lobby, and the officer began to talk to me. “I’m sorry to be the one to have to inconvenience you with this......” The rest of his words faded out. I bolted back to my office and grabbed my coat. I made a mad dash for the stairs and ran down 13 flights of stairs to the parking lot. I was shaking with fear as I turned the ignition in my car and popped it into reverse. I sped out of the parking lot and made my way to the hospital. As I ran through the lobby, I was yelling out her name hoping someone would guide me in the correct direction. I made my way to the stairs still shaking from the adrenalin. As I climbed the stairs I couldn’t help but have a million flashbacks all the way back to the beginning. I opened the door and saw my mother sitting in the lobby. She came over and embraced me as tears were flowing down my face. She assured me she was going to be ok, they just didn’t know at one point if she was going to make it. I left in such a rush, the officer didn’t have time to explain what happened. All I heard was: “sorry I have to be the one to inconvenience you with this…” then I ran off. The nurse came out and sat down with my mother and I in the lobby. She told us there was a severe accident on the highway. Nearly 30 cars were involved. It took place at the on ramp for I-121 exit 3. She apparently couldn’t stop due to the ice and her car hit the guard rail and flipped over the side onto the grassy shoulder. In the process this created a game of dominos behind her. The nurse explained that she had 4 broken ribs, a broken leg, severe cuts, and a mild concussion. In the process she lost a lot of blood, and needed to be airlifted to the hospital.
I started to piece together the events of the morning. The three ambulances passing the office building were heading towards her crash. The reason my mother left a message at the office, was because she was on her way to the hospital and couldn’t get a hold of my cell phone. Come to think of it, the phone was on silent most of the way to work, and the only time I glanced at it was the vibrating sensation in gave when I received a duplicate message. I felt like an idiot remembering the comment I made about her fiancé saving all those lives today, not really thinking about the fact that the life he was really saving was hers. I sat down in the chair and cried. The nurse came out about an hour later as I was still sitting in the same spot. She told me everything was fine and she was only asleep now. I couldn’t help but continue to try to piece together the text message she sent me the night before and again today. It just didn’t make any sense. All it said was: “I’m sorry about everything, thanks for waiting.” I tried to decipher what she meant by that anyways. I would think she might have meant, “thanks for being patient with all my ridiculous requests, and multiple pointless phone calls where I answer all my own questions,” but all it said was “thanks for waiting.” My mom came back with two large cups of coffee. She sat down and explained the story goes a lot further than where the nurse stopped.
I sat back and listened as my mom explained everything going on. She told me the wedding had been postponed…indefinitely. I sat back in shock, and before I could open my mouth to ask any kind of questions, she already started to answer them. She explained that everything came down to his obsession with his career, and her need for someone to love her in more affirming ways than his ten minute power-breaks, and sticky notes on her car window.
I wasn’t sure if this was something I really wanted to hear today. I was already in enough shock that a good friend of mine almost died, but now having to hear that the light at the end of my dark tunnel was starting to blind me in the eyes once more. I wasn’t sure if I could take it. I sat in the same spot for 9 hours and 30 minutes. I couldn’t believe that while she was in her unconscious state that everything boiled down to whether or not I was being tested again. Yes, I have been here before. Think all the way back to the coffee shop; yeah the one where I spilled coffee all over my baby blue jeans. Was that just another publicity stunt? Am I simply just another contestant on a reality TV show called “Survivor: hopeless romantic version.”
I sat and contemplated this all day long. The nurse came out again and told me she was awake. I contemplated whether or not it would be good for her health, or mine for that matter for me to go in there. I felt bad for all the subconscious jokes I made in the past about getting hit by cars to relieve myself from this misery, because I look at this now as a very apparent reality. My mom bought flowers for her bedside for me to give to her while I sat in a chair with my head buried in my hands. She set them on the coffee table next to me as I cried. There were no words to write in the get well card, so I thought it best to do without for now. I walked through the door and set the flowers on the table. I pulled up a chair and sat quietly by the bedside. She glanced over at me with those soft eyes. I felt that sharp familiar pain I felt when I received her message last night and this morning. I didn’t like what I saw. Other than the fact that she looked like a character out of the mummy, I didn’t know what a body cast looked like until today. She smiled at me as I continued to sit in silence. I wasn’t sure if she was going to have enough strength to speak, but she finally started talking. “Did you get my message?” she asked me. I looked back in amazement realizing that her physical state wasn’t as important to her as me getting her message. I nodded and smiled back at her. She told me very quietly and tiresomely that she had a lot of explaining to do and hopefully when they let her loose, she will be able to catch up. I applauded her ambition for thinking she would be out of here tomorrow, and chuckled back subconsciously saying: “you wish.” She asked me to lean over close so she could whisper something in my ear. As I leaned in I notice she was grasping on to an old photograph. It was one she told me she had kept from the journal she sent me, but wanted me to have it. As I leaned in to hear her secret, she slipped me the photo. She whispered a line in my ear, and my heart jumped again, as it did before, but this time out of confusion.
I left the room holding onto the photo and I pulled out my wallet to find a safe place for it. I tucked in neatly beneath my drivers license, picture of my mom, and a concise list of all the interpretations of the colors on the mood ring. I walked out to the lobby to find my mom standing there again. She gave me a warm smile and a hug. We walked out of the hospital together, and as we walked she asked me if I got both her messages at work. I told her I only got the one. Then I remembered the one that needed a Rosetta stone to interpret. I asked her to repeat what the second one said. She smiled back and said: “Dear son, come quick, you may never know what you truly have until its gone, see you soon.” I had flashbacks of the old man in the Victorian house telling me the exact same thing and started to think about why this was such a reoccurring theme. My mom and I parted ways and headed back to the office to gather my belongings and get chewed out by my boss for missing a complete work day. I pressed the button to the 13th floor and the doors to the claustrophobic box of death closed firmly in front of me.
I stepped across the threshold to an empty office and I made my way to my office space. I noticed a card on my desk. It was from my boss. I tore open the card and read the sympathy note followed by….“see you tomorrow morning at the meeting.” It kind of made me laugh knowing that is exactly the kind of thing he would say. I grabbed my things and left the office.
On the drive home I turned up the radio and heard the recap of the day’s news; including the 30 car pileup at the on ramp for I-121 exit 3. I started to parallel the pileup of cars to the pile up of memories from when I glanced at the photograph she handed me earlier. I pulled into the apartment and walked up the icy stairs to my front door. As I shut the door firmly behind me I came to the realization of what she meant when she whispered in me ear earlier today. I sat down at the table and cried myself to sleep from a near death experience with life and with love.
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