Episode 7: Melancholy Daze

I suddenly woke up in a cold sweat. Thank goodness it was only a dream. I glanced over at the clock realizing that I only had a few more hours of rest before officially waking up to start my day. My eyes were still glazed over as I made my way through the dark hallway looking for the light switch. I turned on the light and poured myself a glass of water from the tap. I couldn’t sleep. It wasn’t unusual for me to have a hard time falling asleep, but this is the first time I have ever woken up in a cold sweat and couldn’t go back to sleep. It was only two nights ago that I watched my best friend walk down the isle. The last two days I have been in a complete haze. The world just hasn’t made much sense. No matter how much I just wanted it to stop for a few minutes to let me catch my breath, it just keeps going like the energizer bunny on steroids. It was rather difficult for me to explain why I was acting the way I was the last few days. Apathetic, distracted, absent-minded, slow: all of these words could easily describe the last few days for me. I glanced down at my half empty glass of water and realized that it was the only thing standing still. The clock struck 3AM and I still couldn’t fall back asleep. It was raining outside, and all I could hear were the drops of rain hitting the window sill. Every so often the room was lighted by the flashes of lightning followed by roaring thunder. It kinda reminds me of the song “I’ll be” by Edwin McCain, but the reality is, I lay awake alone.

The sweat was still dripping from my forehead after the terrifying dream. Most think of nightmares as ones where a scary man in a dark mask throws you off a cliff, and you wake up just before you hit the bottom. Others think of scary dreams as ones where you are continuously falling and don’t ever hit bottom, or even dreams where you are running from someone or something, and your legs just won’t take you there. My dream was no where near any of these descriptions. If I didn’t know any better, my dream could be described just as real as the beating of my heart….

I sat down at the old fashioned Italian restaurant on 3rd street approximately at the time I had planned. It wouldn’t be for a while before she was scheduled to show up, but then again these things never go as planned. I pulled the chef aside and let him know what was going on. Proposals are never easy, but I didn’t want to continue the tradition of the ring in the desert like everyone else before me. This Italian restaurant was not only known for its delicious cuisine, but for the picturesque environment it displayed. The restaurant is located on the top floor of an old apartment complex downtown. After climbing the stairwell filled with photographs of famous people standing by the owner, the host or hostess greets you at the top. After being seated by the friendly waiters and waitresses, they leave you with the menus and a warm basket of freshly baked bread. Bread is my favorite food of all. Not only is it filled with flavor, but it can be made in so many ways. I sat and admired the fresh scent of the home made oven baked bread while fingering the gold ring in my suit jacket pocket.

I had this thing planned to a tee. Everything was supposed to happen at a distinct time, and all along she wouldn’t have a clue. You see a few weeks back we were planning on grabbing dinner at our favorite Italian restaurant, but she had an urgent meeting at work. She promised me we would make it up, and we would always joke back and fourth using the term rain check. She would taunt me only because I worked at a grocery store a long time back and rain checks were very common to over prestigious customers who want to take advantage of the savings. We both hit one of the most stressful weeks possible and at the end of the week we agreed to have dinner and share our astounding stories of the week. Little did she know that tonight I would ask her to help me write one….ours.

I glanced up from the menu at the right moment to see her talking with the hostess. She came to the table and sat down. She had the look of exhaustion and relief on her face at the same time: both glad that the week was finally over, and the look of being completely worn out. I smiled as though nothing else mattered anymore to me than being right there with her. We ordered our food and sat back to enjoy each others company. As we talked about our stressful week, time seemed to fly by faster than I thought. Before I knew it the food had arrived at the table. As we finished up eating, I tried to switch the conversation to us. She seemed a little out of it, but I was absolutely sure that the question I was going to ask her would fix all problems. I managed to pull of a more serious conversation about us. This consisted of asking if she is enjoying the time we spend together. Most of that time is spent on casual encounters for coffee, but to me it felt like much more than that. I excused myself to go to the restroom; by that I meant to go cue the musicians. I came back, sat down, and took a deep breath. Before I could say a word her phone rang: “Hello…….Heyyyy!!!......no

I haven’t told him yet……..I was just about to…….don’t worry I will………Love you too……bye.” At that moment my eye caught the glimmer of light shimmering off her ring finger on her left hand. My heart sank deeper than the titanic as I swallowed more tears than I thought my eyes could ever produce. “I’m sorry I was going to tell you sooner…but…” The ring in my hand I was gripping with my life slipped out of my fingers and just before it hit the solid oak wood floor…….

I woke up. The ray of light hitting my eyes through my apartment window helped me regain consciousness from the 3 hours of rewinding and replaying my dream in my head over and over. It seemed too real to be just a dream. I looked around the apartment to make sure I wasn’t still asleep for some reason. I stood up and made my way back to my room to get ready for another long day.

The coffee machine beeped 5 times indicating that my morning medicine was ready to take. I grabbed my mug and filled it to the brim knowing very well even this amount would not hold me through the day. Four hours of sleep just doesn’t settle too well on a night like last night. I would have been perfectly content with scary men in dark masks chasing me off a cliff, but somehow I feel like that just wasn’t in God’s plan. Maybe I needed to see that. Maybe it was a short glimpse of what I could become if I’m not careful, just maybe…. I drove off to work in a complete daze. Nothing could keep me from thinking today, not even large cup of coffee.

To be continued…