I was there on my first contact call. This was my first week of the job, and my boss wasn’t kidding when he said he would throw me in the deal right away. The man I was meeting with owned a large piece of land 60 miles south of Swazi Land in the country of South Africa. He was an interested investor hoping to find out more about our company and what we would use the land for. We were hoping to set up a communications port on his piece of land that would start providing South Africa with much more reliable internet and telephone support via satellite.
He returned with a steaming cup of freshly brewed coffee and sat down. He put on his reading glasses and looked intently at me. Before we got to the logistics of the meeting, he was eager to know about me. He was a wise man who knew exactly how to influence a person’s life. His tender voice was inviting me to tell my story even in the midst of business protocol.
I told him all about growing up, the middle stages of my life, and into college. College was the time in my life where I began to understand a lot more about who I was, and where I was going. Before I could finish my aspiring story about my life as communications specialist, he intervened: “so, do you have a lady friend?” I was somewhat surprised at his question because I didn’t think our conversations would go any further than strictly business. “It is a rather confusing story” I told him hoping he would move on to a different topic. He pulled the latch on the side of his chair and the foot rest sprung up meeting his weary feet. “I’ve got all day” he replied with an eager look on his face. So where do I begin? There are really two separate beginnings to me. One starts way back in the beginning when we first met, but I was hesitant to include that part of my painful past. I could always pick it up after the 3 years of complete silence, and include where I decided to start with a clean slate. I decided to be completely open and start from the very beginning…..
I was a blooming high school student..I began. Well maybe not quite blooming, but technically weeds bloom too. Let’s just say I was at the height of my high school career when we met. I was introduced to her through a good friend of mine. It wasn’t long after our awkward hello that we started talking. I was rather surprised. I was the one staring at my shoe laces trying not to drool, and low behold she was the first to call me. We started to talk more frequently. And our conversations became more intelligent over time. Of course the first few times were rather awkward trying to start a conversation. I would always end up saying something completely ridiculous. For example, the first time we met outside of my friend’s presence I started by asking her what her favorite brand of tooth paste was. Mine is crest just for the record. Needless to say we finally got the nerve to hold a conversation for longer than a minute. The interesting thing at that point was learning that in reality, we had more in common than I thought.
As our friendship grew, we continued to do random fun things together. I was getting to the point where my emotions took control. High school was such an interesting time in life. Not only was my school small, but everyone knew everything about you. Keeping a secret was psychological suicide. We managed to continue a consistent friendship through the first semester. It came time for the infamous winter dance. Sure, I know “infamous” has a negative connotation, but so does winter dance, at least in my life story. I decided I was going to ask her to the winter dance. After all both of us being seniors, it was almost our last chance. I had to think of the perfect plot. I was always a hopeless romantic. Mostly hopeless, but I try the romantic side from time to time. I didn’t want to stick with the embarrassing flowers duct taped to the locker with a note saying “Will you go to the winter dance with me?????
I had it all plotted out. I had 3rd period off, and just before lunch I was going to set everything up. She did’t like to be surprised or embarrassed, but what can I say, I was clueless. I went to the local flower shop to get some cheap roses to use the pedals. I calculated the distance from her locker to her current class with my wrist calculator. Ok not really. I took the pedals and made a path leading straight to her locker. I duct taped a note on her locker with a catchy riddle. “roses are blue violets are pink, the next clue probably isn’t where you think….go to the office.” So the poetic skills were somewhat lacking, but I had fun watching. It probably made it even more obvious when I avoided her completely all morning. Like I said, I wasn’t too bright. I was standing in the office pretending to talk on the phone with my mom. That of course didn’t work either since I got distracted while finding a place to stash the dozen roses tearing up my hands. She walked up and sarcastically said “So whatcha got there?” I of course couldn’t tell a lie. So I handed her the flowers and said: “oh nothing, got any plans for the winter dance?” she smiled and accepted.
To speed up the story a bit, we rushed through the next two weeks making plans for dinner and after dance entertainment. I was rather nervous the night of the dance, considering I was planning on asking her out that night. I found the perfect song on the list and put it in as a request. I found her and we continued dancing. Remember, I’m not that good at dancing whatsoever. That never changed. I would accidentally step on her toes and sheepishly apologize for it.
The song I requested started playing. She looked deeply into my eyes and my forehead started to sweat like a running faucet. I smiled back and we continued dancing. Towards the end of the song I whispered in her ear: “I have really enjoyed the time we have spent together. I was just wondering if you would be my girlfriend.” I don’t think I could have possibly worded it in any more of an awkward way. She smiled back and accepted my request. My heart began to slow down to a manageable level. The night concluded and I drove her back to her house. She told me she was just waiting for me to ask. A peaceful relief fell over me as I made my way past the flashing red traffic lights after a long late night.
The weeks that followed heightened the excitement in my life. For the first time ever, I had a girlfriend. No longer did people look at me as the nerdy kid with no social life. For once I was actually completely happy. After 4 months our relationship came to an end. It was a bittersweet realization that I had to grow up and that high school would not last forever. With that we parted ways and sat silent for 3 years.
The old man smiled knowing the story wasn’t over. I had lost track of time and the sun quietly found its bed below the horizon. It was like waking up from a deep sleep rewinding the memories of my past. The end was not a definite end. There was an exchange of fears of the future, and realities neither of us wanted to face. But in a sense I desperately wanted to believe it was only temporary. Thus why I left a picture in the back of my memory to only to be resurfaced 3 years later.
We sat around the old man’s fire after a short coffee break from my long story. I continued to tell him the events that followed our reunion after three years of silence. It all started with a cup of coffee I told him. My dreaded addiction eventually brought me to my fall. Of course running into her after those long three years didn’t help. Later to spill an entire cup of hot java on my baby blue jeans, and have her call me to see if I was ok, all in the same day. I was a mess for that first week. Well to be honest, that hasn’t changed much. There was of course the day she visited me at work when all I wanted to do was fall asleep peacefully. Or even the wedding I accidentally invited her to as a substitute for a coffee “date.” He just chuckled as I continued to tell my story. I could never forget the psychological accident that only made these encounters seem all the worse. She was haunting me. Even in my dreams I couldn’t run from her. That was of course the worst possible dream I have ever had. I could never imagine misinterpreting coffee meetings with dates and finding out she’s engaged. And on the day that I got hired for the communications specialist position, she just had to call.
The old man sat there for a minute just smiling. I continued to talk up until I saw his eyes drift off to the distant wall behind me as a tear rolled down his wrinkled face. The wall was filled with pictures of his life, but the light of the fire highlighted just one. It was a picture of his wife. “We had a story very similar to yours” he told me wiping the tear from his eyes. I caught my words on the tip of my tongue before I could manage to speak. I contemplated asking how they met, but at that moment I realized his story wasn’t quite painless yet. He told me she died a few years earlier from a stroke. My heart dropped as a felt deep sorrow for him. I could never imagine losing someone who was right along side me to write my story.
He looked at me and smiled. He took off his reading glasses and placed them on the table next too him and said: “Never lose a chance to tell someone you care, because you really don’t ever know what you have until it is gone forever.” I looked back at him as he sat by the fire.
I walked down the steps and glanced back at the Victorian house where the light of the fire illuminated the windows. I got back into my car and drove back to my apartment. The whole way back was a haze. I pulled into the parking spot and shut off the car. For a few moments I sat in the dark silently thinking about the events of the day. I gained enough strength to climb the stairs and open the door to my apartment. I hit the answering machine button and heard her soft voice. “Hey its me, just wanted to say hi, hope you are having a wonderful time at your new job, I’ll talk to you later, bye.” With that I broke down and started crying remembering the old man from the beautiful Victorian house. I wonder what he does on the lonely nights when light of the fire unmasks his painful memories hanging framed neatly on the walls…
To be continued…
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