Episode 13: Table for One

I walked through the door with a giant smile on my face as I threw the keys on the table sat down at my desk. I sipped the last bit of coffee left in the bottom of my cup from this morning, checked my email, and made my way to the kitchen to make more. Naturally the first thing I was inclined to do was to hit the button on the answering machine to listen to all my missed calls. Haven’t you ever noticed that most Hollywood block busters these days always have the character in the mid twenties walk through the door, hang the coat on the expense looking coat rack, and listen to the 20 voice messages from their significant other half way around the world? I’ve always wondered why nearly every movie has something to that extent included in the movie. I just don’t find anything all that romantic about an answering machine, even though I have had terrifying experiences with them in the middle of the night before.

I hesitated, but curiously pushed the button, only for the operator to tell me I had no new messages. What a drag I thought, but nothing could ruin today, at least for now. I was called into work early this morning. My phone went off at 5:30 in the morning with a surprisingly pleasant message from my boss. This was probably the first time he has ever called me without having something negative to say about the world. It was double bonus points today, especially because he isn’t a morning person. I jumped out of bed and headed off to the office with a half cup of coffee in my system. He called me in to ask me to do a rather large favor.

Since I am the communications guy for my company, part of my job is to work with clients on a personal scale in order to maximize productivity…at least that’s what my training manual says. I have no idea what that means. He told me he was sending my on a two day trip to New York City>. One of his clients there needed to speak to a representative from the company about on of his specific interests abroad. So since my boss requested a few days off for his anniversary, he is sending me in his place. Immediately after he told me, I felt like a four year old opening a Christmas present on Christmas day. You know: “no way!! No way! Thankyouthankyouthankyou, this is the bestest present ever…love you mom and dad.” I don’t think my response was that drastic considering my professional swagger, but the ride down to the lobby consisted of me singing “If I ruled the world.”

Since he gave me that news this morning, he gave me the next two days off to prepare for the trip. Technically I don’t get work off; I just don’t have to go to the office to do my work. I sat at my desk for the next several hours putting together my final presentation for this client. I’ve only done this once before, and last time I ended up telling my life story, at least the “action-packed” part of it to the old man in the Victorian house. With my luck that just might happen again. I seriously considered attaching an auto biography to the presentation if such an event were to occur. I have to constantly remind myself the in the business world, not everyone wants to hear my depressing love sick stories, especially not ones who live in penthouse apartments in downtown New York City. Scratch my dream of connecting with this one on a personal scale. I finished up the presentation just before lunch. I really want to treat myself today, but I’m not really the celebrating type to go to an expensive restaurant and ask for a table for one.

Almost immediately after the thought crossed my mind, the phone rang. “Naturally”, I thought, out loud. I picked up the phone and low and behold it was her. While she was giving the usual introductory spiel, I was contemplating in my mind whether or not I would regret actually picking up the phone. This got me in trouble. She asked me how my day was, and my response was: “bad idea.” Hmmmm yup, that was an accident. I quickly apologized for my splurge of random words, but she just wouldn’t drop it. I told her I was looking at computers on ebay and I found one that was a “bad idea.” So naturally I’m not a good liar. Never have been, and probably never will be. She asked me if we could meet for lunch really soon to talk about something. Of course she leaves the subject out, just so I would spend the next 24 hours torturing myself over what she meant. So I took a bold step and asked her to meet for lunch today. She stumbled over her filler words….that isn’t really supposed to happen. Usually filler words are supposed to be noise. But hers sounded more like ummmhumhumhummm; if you can imagine that sound. I thought about saying: “Think about it quick, because I’m moving to NYC in 3 days.” But considering her obviously scattered state of mind, I’d rather not add to the gibberish, and I don’t think my humor of moving vs. visiting would go over very well. I honestly believe she was thinking of a good enough legitimate excuse for why she couldn’t, probably because she wasn’t prepared.

She accepted my invitation and I gave her directions a small deli shop I found by work. Since she was working today and I wasn’t, I though it would be appropriate to show up in jeans and a t-shirt just to rub it in. I thought of all sorts of great stories to make up about how I was fired from my job, evicted from my apartment, and had my entire bank account drained, but I just couldn’t stop laughing while trying to rehearse these masterpiece stories. I turned into the parking lot to see her standing there….talking on her cell phone. I knew it was him, based on the giddy grin on her face. I thought about honking the horn as loud as possible and waving obnoxiously like Jim Carey in Dumb and Dumber, but then again…How old am I? I pulled into a space and got out of the car soon enough to hear the last two words of the conversation… “Love you.” Have you ever had those feelings in your heart where it feels like something sharp just decided to bounce up and down against the inner walls of the heart? Well now I know what that feels like.

I put a sheepish smile on my face and walked over and gave her the one-armed-friend hug. You know the one; one arm hanging as if paralyzed while the other simply tries to find the third bump on the spine. I guess maybe I have put too much thought into that method. We walked into the deli shop and found a place to sit down. Her first question to me was: “So what’s with the jeans and t-shirt? Casual Tuesday?” hehehe….thats not funny, I thought to myself wanting to come up with a witty response. Unfortunately all I could think of was: “no I just forgot my scrubs.” Hmmmm maybe not the best idea. So instead I just decided to laugh as if I actually thought it was funny. We ordered our food and sat back to engage in conversation. Oh the joys of actual conversation, not the one liners of sarcastic comments that I utterly enjoy, but rather words with a purpose and direction. She told me how her week was, and I reciprocated with the same dialogue. The only thing stirring in my head during that portion of the conversation was my trip to NYC. I don’t want to sound selfish, but after the “casual Tuesday” comment, I totally zoned out. I could tell there was something really important she wanted to tell me, but her backwards way of doing it was to talk about the monotony of her week, and somehow all tie it back to, “I’m glad he was there to help.” I was just waiting for the perfect time to drop the News about New York. I was hoping there would be some big event going on that she really wanted me to be at during the time that I would be in New York City, but no such event was brought up. We sat for a while before our food came, and she looked as if she was itching to get something out. She was squirming in her seat like a little kid staring at a cupcake while waiting for the parent’s approval to eat it. So I decided to take yet another bold step. “So what’s going on with you? You seem like you have something on your mind, other than your dull week.” I think I caught her off guard when she stopped the people watching and focused her eyes on mine. You know its going to be an awkward topic when the first thing that comes out is the word: Sooooo…I leaned back in my chair grinning on the inside because I knew I could call her bluff. She wasn’t ready to talk about it, and this was very apparent. She finally gathered her thoughts and spoke: “So this guy I’ve been seeing….well he thinks I’m the one….” I smiled with a sense of knowing I at least have some sense of intuition left. I sat for a few seconds thinking of the most awkward response possible. I wasn’t planning on making this easy for her. “What do you think?” I replied. I could tell by the look on her face she was getting a bit uncomfortable. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about…He and I have talked about it a little bit, and….well…we’ve…uhh…well, its slowly becoming a possibility.” I could tell this definitely wasn’t easy for her. I wouldn’t be comfortable telling someone this either. “Has he proposed?” I asked her. “Not technically no, he kinda hinted at it.” I sat back with whatever was left of my jaw trying to jumble together a few encouraging words. “hmmm, well that’s cool;” is about the only response I could come up with. She looked at me intently and smiled. “Soooo…are you doing ok with things?” she asked. How am I supposed to respond to a question like that? I sheepishly smiled back and simply said “yeah.” I slipped on my shades and stood up telling her I had to go. She stood up and gave me a goodbye hug. As I was walking away she told me we should meet for coffee this week. I turned around and told her “I can’t, I’ll be in New York City.” We said our goodbye’s and I got behind the wheel of my Honda, and sat in silence for a few seconds with the wedding march song stuck in my head. I blared the radio and drove off.

The highway was unusually jammed today. Not only was it the middle of the day an hour past lunchtime, it’s a Tuesday. Not that the day really matters, but I felt the utter need to add useless facts to increase my credibility. Back to the point, the highway was jammed. I sat back in traffic and pulled my portfolio out of my bag and closely glanced at the fading picture neatly hidden behind the leather dividers. Why do I keep a picture of her? I haven’t honestly thought about it other than the possibility of a reminder. None the less I spent several minutes replaying lunch inside my head. I haven’t quiet put together the pieces of the puzzle just yet. It has only been a few short months since we reintroduced ourselves like the day “Harry met Sally.” Not only was that a complete opposite from today, but I look back and remember not only the embarrassment of the situation, but also the underlying feelings of hope and possibility. At the time I chose to ignore those feelings but looking back now makes me realize how apparent they were in my life. I sat behind the wheel trying do drown out the sounds of cars angrily honking due to the massive amounts of traffic. It wasn’t too hard to zone out today. My seemingly good day turned into a nasty de ja vu back in high school of that cold winter day.

I spent the better part of the afternoon continuing to finish my presentation for New York City. I worked straight through the evening hoping to finish up enough to have a lighter day tomorrow. I glanced at the clock a few moments before it struck 7 in the evening and the grumbling sensation in my stomach screamed at me to feed it. I walked down the stairs to the bottom floor of my apartment complex. The air was cool and brisk as I made my way across the court yard to the entrance. I decided I was going to walk to dinner tonight. There is no sense in me driving to a place a few blocks away. As I walked down the sidewalk my eyes wandered to the local neighborhood couples going on evening strolls in the lighted streets.

Fog fell across the town as I continued my journey to the small hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant. In less than 48 hours I would be on my way to New York City for a few days. It just seemed so surreal to me as I pondered all the trip would bring. I took off my coat and sat down at the corner booth in the restaurant waiting for the waitress to take my order. I didn’t think I would be spending my “spectacular” day sitting at a table for one on a cold brisk night while love was in the air all around me. I sipped my hot cup of Columbian brewed coffee, realizing, it was best to just let it go.

I came back to the apartment and found my favorite spot on the couch and popped in a movie to help my mind from continuing to ponder the word “proposal.” Before I knew it, I fell completely asleep.

I woke up the next morning to the sound of someone knocking on my door. My natural hope would be her standing there with a giant smile on her face telling me she broke up with him, but how selfish would that be of me to think such a thing. I really am happy for her, but unfortunately my jealous, romantic, wanna-be-chivalrous attitude always kicks in. I slowly made my way to the door and turned the knob. My mom stood in the doorway with a rather large box in her hands. I wasn’t sure what it was but I invited her in. She set the box on the table and gave me a hug. She told me I will never be too old for college care packages even though I am technically done with college. That gave me somewhat of a clue as to what this mystery box contained. I poured us both cups of coffee and we sat at the table and talked for a while. She asked me how everything was going with me and “you know who.” My face dropped just enough for a mothers intuition to pick up on my signals.

I sat and told her the whole story. She even admitted that the way things drastically changed was extremely odd. She got up from the table and grabbed her coat from the rack. She smiled at me and simply said: “all in good time.” I opened the door and said goodbye. I closed the door tightly behind me as if I was on a crime scene ready to defuse a bomb staring at the semi large box on my table. I grabbed the proper utensils and went to work ripping off the four layers of duct tape and packaging paper. I opened the box filled with bubble wrap and newspaper digging for my lost treasure. I pulled out the card and opened it first. The inside of the card was an encouraging not as I was heading of to New York City for a few days. Underneath all the bubble wrap and newspaper was a package of deodorant, razors, and a package of fruit of the loom boxers. My mom never ceases to make me smile. Of course she threw in the traditional pound of coffee and gift card. I sat back in my chair and smiled remembering what my mother said; “all in good time.” It almost bothered me not really knowing what she fully meant by such a statement. I wasn’t expecting things to magically clear up, but I was at least hoping for a bit of clarity. It was only a few moments after I dozed off to sleep at my kitchen table in the middle of the morning, when I heard a knock at my door again. I slowly stood up from my chair and made my way to the door. I opened the door, and there she was standing right in front of me. She stood frozen before me as though I was responsible for the first few words, she took a deep breath and words finally came out…. “

To be continued….